Sunday, September 11, 2016

Farewell to my Aunt Nell

Nell McQueen, my beloved aunt (my mom’s oldest sister), died a few days ago. She was 93 and would have turned 94 on (of all days) 9/11.

I’ve been wondering what it was like on her 78th birthday 16 years ago.

Here’s what I think: Aunt Nell went to bed early the evening of Sept. 10, 2001, thinking, maybe even dreaming, about her upcoming birthday. She loved chocolate cake. Perhaps she had requested such a treat for her special day, so as she closed her eyes on her pillow she pictured a delicious chocolate cake with 78 candles. She loved being with her family, and looked forward, I’m sure, to being (the next day) with as many of her loved ones (sisters, nephews, nieces, grand nephews and grand nieces, close friends and neighbors, fellow Sunday School class members) as possible. She wasn’t much for presents, but who doesn’t like to be surprised? Aunt Nell, before she hit the hay on the night before 9/11, wondered if she’d maybe get a piece of jewelry or a gift card to one of her favorite eating places. She dearly loved to eat! Never dieted or counted calories that I know of. Just ate what she wanted and enjoyed food to the fullest.

And then, the next morning—at about 8:30 and on a Tuesday, as I recall—chaos broke out in New York, Pennsylvania and in Washington, D.C. Big jets, commandeered by Muslim terrorists, had been hijacked and crashed into buildings or to the earth, killing almost 3,000 people. Vicious out-of-the-blue attacks on our own soil shook our nation. Rescue crews and dogs dug through the rubble of fallen Twin Towers in NYC trying to find survivors. A big jet, full of innocent passengers, crashed into a field in rural Pennsylvania, killing everyone on board. Another big jet crashed into the Pentagon, causing more death and destruction.

Through it all, Aunt Nell—like millions of other stunned Americans and people all over the world—stayed glued to the news. She couldn’t believe the pictures. She couldn’t believe any of it.

She forgot about her birthday till later that day when someone, probably my mom and my sister, reminded her about it and took her out for lunch. She didn’t want to go. Didn’t feel like celebrating or partying, but they dragged her into the car and took her anyway.

What a birthday that must have been for her! What swirling, conflicting emotions she must have felt! What on earth had happened to her “special day”? Was the world coming to an end?

Gently prodded by those who loved her, my dear aunt ate her chocolate cake and blew out her 78 candles and returned hugs and kisses, but she also did all these things (I think) with reservations. Deep down, Aunt Nell’s heart was with those folks, in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington, D.C. Deep down, she wasn’t at rest or happy or the least bit in a festive mood.

That’s the kind of person my Aunt Nell McQueen was.

I guess the one word that sums up her persona is SWEET. She was a SWEET, caring, kind, generous and thoughtful-to-the-core lady.

She loved a good cup of coffee and she loved porch sitting and working crossword puzzles (she was word smart!) and being with her family.

At her eulogy the other day, David Siebenaler, minister of Valley Forge Christian Church (where she was a lifelong member and taught Sunday School for two decades) summed up her simple but fulfilling life very well. Here are his words:

“Nell …was a blessing to her friends and her church family. She was a faithful friend, one you could count on to stay in touch with you, to be there for you, and to do whatever she could for you. Many of her friends were also members of the church that was such an important part of her life, and she looked forward to being together with them for worship, fellowship, and study. She almost always found a way to inject her sweet spirit and her trademark sense of humor into conversations with these folks. I think of her as one of God’s quiet saints--those people who don’t have to be in the spotlight, but they are always there, quietly doing their part, giving encouragement to those around them. That’s what Nell did, and she did it well, often with a twinkle in her eye.

"I will always remember her teasing one of our greeters who handed out candy on Sunday mornings. She made sure that he knew that she liked Mr. Goodbars and that he’d better have some for her when she came through that door! Nothing pleased Nell more than to brighten someone’s day, and she did a lot of brightening down through the years. She in turn was blessed by the kindness of some of her church friends, who recently entertained her with a pizza party at her home. The best part, she told me afterward, was the chocolate cake. The pizza was good, but she really loved that chocolate cake!

“That sounds like Nell, doesn’t it? She enjoyed the simple things in life, but more importantly, she brought joy to those who knew her.”

Farewell, Aunt Nell. I’ll never forget you, and I'll love you forever.

(With this blog post is a picture of my late aunt (age 93 in the photo) talking to my sister Cheryl. Pictured also is a rainbow I captured with my iPhone camera a few weeks ago one early evening over Watauga Lake—not far from where my aunt was born.)


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