Can't wait? Then take the big leap...

Ran across this interesting piece in the paper today (from the Charlotte Observer) about a University of Texas sociology professor.

Seems the professor has a solution for all those young folks who are having trouble refraining from having sex: just go ahead and get married so you can do it.

Mark Regnerus, the professor, is getting a lot of heat from his colleagues for his simple solution for couples who can't seem to keep their hands off each other.

But a few folks say he may be right on target. If you've got a hot, steamy romance, why not just go ahead and tie the knot, they say, and make it legal.

Here's the article--would be interested in your comments on it Feel free to click on the "Comment" icon at the end and write your response:

Don’t wait to get married

AUSTIN, Texas – If Christians aren’t waiting until marriage to have sex – and statistics show they aren’t – Mark Regnerus says he’s found the perfect solution: They should just get married right after high school.

This idea has gotten the 38-year-old University of Texas sociology professor a lot of grief, a little bit of praise and too many interview requests for him to handle. Regnerus has also been called everything from a sexist to a hillbilly, he said.

The name-calling started in April, when Regnerus wrote a commentary in the Washington Post entitled, “Say Yes. What Are You Waiting For?” There, he introduced the ideas that he would expand for this month’s Christianity Today cover story, “The Case for Early Marriage.”

His premise, in the Christianity Today piece, is that the evangelical emphasis on abstinence, combined with the growing number of adults who are getting married later in life, has created economic, biological and emotional problems for Christians. U.S. Census Bureau data show that the median age for marriage has been rising steadily since the 1960s, when the median marrying age was 20 for women and 22 for men. By 2007, the median age had risen to 25 for women and 27 for men.

Regnerus’ main argument is “that evangelical Christians have become too preoccupied with sex and turned their attention away from the damage that Americans are doing to the institution of marriage by discouraging it and delaying it.

”I wrote the piece to commend marriage and ask religious communities and parents to reconsider the messages they’re sending to their young adult children,“ he said. ”It’s not a call for teen marriage. Instead, I wanted to push back against the new norm that says you must be crazy, or planning to forfeit your future and your fun, to consider marrying in your early 20s. Why can’t people in love get married when they want to? Why can’t they support each other and reach their goals together?“

Regnerus studies the intersection of sex and religion. He wrote the 2007 book, ”Forbidden Fruit: Sex and Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers,“ which debunked some myths about teen sexuality trends using survey data and interviews with more than 250 American teens.

”He’s a very productive and prominent sociologist in the area of religion,“ said Robert Hummer, the chairman of UT’s sociology department. ”Sometimes, he expresses views that are somewhat out of the mainstream of academic sociologists. That being said, everyone has a right to do that.“

Married with three young children, Regnerus is the son of a Reformed Church in America minister. He was born in Iowa and grew up in Michigan. He met his wife, Deeann, when he was a freshman at Trinity Christian College in Palos Heights, Ill. Regnerus wanted to marry at 21, he said, but his father forbade it. So the couple married when he was 22.

”The idea of early marriage before 25 is unpalatable,“ Regnerus said. ”Currently, the story is that you shouldn’t get married until you’re 28. It’s a compelling story that doesn’t have an empirically strong foundation, but it’s still a powerful script.“

Since the August article was published, some of his interactions at church – he attends services at a Presbyterian church and a nondenominational church – have turned awkward, he said. He described the general tone as: “’Saw the article. I don’t agree with you. Let’s talk about it over coffee.’“ When he met with a reporter over coffee at his home in mid-August, he said he had done three radio interviews in three days and was starting to turn down interview requests.

”You don’t write not to be heard,“ Regnerus said. ”On the other hand, nobody likes to look like a right-wing nut job, especially when you work for a secular university.“
In the Christianity Today piece, which editors of the Illinois-based evangelical magazine say is ”the most talked-about cover story“ in months, Regnerus said, ”Evangelical discourse on sex is more conservative than I’ve ever seen it.“ However, virginity pledges and chastity balls haven’t gone far toward ”shaping our sexual decision-making.“

Abstinence-only discussions have led some to believe that sex after marriage would be phenomenal if people would only wait, he said, but ”the problem is that not all abstainers end up happy or go on to the great sex lives they were promised.“

An estimated 90 percent of American adults have sex before they get married, he said. And ”the percentage of evangelicals who do so is not much lower.“ He essentially calls for a more holistic and biblical view of marriage, despite pragmatic arguments people may have against couples getting married young.

”While sex matters, marriage matters more,“ Regnerus wrote.

In the blogosphere, some evangelicals think he’s right. Some women of a certain age have harsher words.

In response to his Post piece, reactions included: ”The author of this article should join the 21st century and realize women no longer need marriage (or children for that matter) to be successful or respected in our world.“

Others said his views were ”insulting to women.“

Dave Jensen, associate professor of constructive theology at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, said he considers Regnerus’ research and points valid, if somewhat extreme.

”I’m a bit skeptical about whether early marriage is the answer to some of the things he raises,“ said Jensen, who is writing a book about theology and sexuality.

Jensen said the strong backlash Regnerus got to his ideas – including 296 mostly negative online comments to his Washington Post article and 240 not-as-harsh online comments on the Christianity Today piece – has to do with the connection most people make between romance and sexuality.

”But I appreciate his ability to shift the evangelical conversation away from the hoopla of things like chastity balls, which put sex at the center of Christian life,“ Jensen said.