We buried my brother-in-law yesterday.
His name was Crawford Alexander.
He was 68.
Same age as me.
His name was Crawford. Same name as my son.
He had two daughters. Same as me.
He loved journalism—same as me. He was a prolific reader of the local newspaper. He read every single word—from the front page to the back page. Because he read so much he was always INFORMED and SMART about what happened in his community and the rest of the world. Nothing took him by surprise.
Years ago, Crawford had worked and lived in Charlotte, N.C.—same as me.
He loved dogs—same as me. For a long time he and his beloved old labrador retriever “Bill” were best friends. Did he ever love that dog! He talked about Bill and even reminisced fondly about Bill’s granddaddy.
He died Wednesday shortly after I visited him in ICU at the Johnson City Medical Center.
He had become ill earlier that day. So ill and weak that my sister Cheryl called 911.
They rushed him to the hospital in an ambulance and tried desperately to save him.
But to no avail.
He departed this world late Wednesday night.
We are all still in shock. Stunned. Baffled.
Because Crawford was always the strong one—the one our family called upon to lift, move, haul or do the heavy (sometimes backbreaking, unseemly) work of taking care of our parents when they became hill.
Who you gonna call?
It was always Crawford.
My sister shared with me that when he suddently fell ill—after being so healthy and strong and vibrant all his life—Crawford asked her “What happened to me?”
“I don’t know, honey,” (or words to that effect) she responded through tears.
Today, one day after his funeral service—where his coffin was wrapped in an American flag—we are all asking why. Why Crawford? Why at this time? Why did he have to die? Surely he had 10, 20, maybe even 30 more years or longer left to live… (After all, his father lived to be 94).
When my sister Cheryl asked me to say a few words at where we laid Crawford to rest, I tried to think of a song that would define their marriage.
For they had been together only a few short years—after tying the knot, as I recall, in Boone, N.C.
But WAY, WAY, WAY before that, Cheryl and Crawford had been sweethearts as teenagers.
Then life happened. They followed separate paths. Had gotten married to someone else and then divorced.
And then, just a few years ago, found each other again.
The romance was rekindled. They were happy as two love birds who’d somehow bumped into each other after decades of being apart.
Suddenly they were chirping and flapping their wings joyously and soaring high. Taking trips together, taking care of a household together, dreaming together, building and remodeling together, making a blended family work, leaning on each other.
And, most importantly, loving each other.
Ok, back to that song I mentioned earlier. I recited a few lines of it yesterday at Crawford’s service. It’s by Johnny Cash and June Carter. Here tis:
I'm a writer at heart, so this is one of the places I write. It's where I store my ideas, observations, interests. This is my personal reflective journal on a range of topics. I'm told journaling is good for the soul. I hope so. And since there's nothing quite as powerful as an idea, maybe a few of those will manifest themselves in my writing. Thank you for reading and always feel free to post a comment.
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Mom's Day
Mom, I know you left this world in July 2013. But you are still with me.
You were there that very first breath I took.
I was with you the day you died.
And so many, many years in between.
You were the best mom in the world!
Loving, kind, sweet, gentle, giving, selfless.
I heard a sermon today. Minister says Mother's Day is joyous. But it's also painful for some.
Yes, I hurt that you're gone.
But I'm still forever grateful and honored you were my mom.
Happy Mother's Day 2017, Mom!
(With this blog post are a few photos. The single is of my mom--Dixie Nadine Jenkins Timbs. The group shot, from left, consists of some other wonderful moms: Elizabeth Timbs Sherling, Nell McQueen (not a mom but still one of my favorite aunts of all time); my mom; Dorothy Timbs Yeung.)
And here's a video showing Mom in her younger years.
You were there that very first breath I took.
I was with you the day you died.
And so many, many years in between.
You were the best mom in the world!
Loving, kind, sweet, gentle, giving, selfless.
I heard a sermon today. Minister says Mother's Day is joyous. But it's also painful for some.
Yes, I hurt that you're gone.
But I'm still forever grateful and honored you were my mom.
Happy Mother's Day 2017, Mom!
(With this blog post are a few photos. The single is of my mom--Dixie Nadine Jenkins Timbs. The group shot, from left, consists of some other wonderful moms: Elizabeth Timbs Sherling, Nell McQueen (not a mom but still one of my favorite aunts of all time); my mom; Dorothy Timbs Yeung.)
And here's a video showing Mom in her younger years.
Friday, May 12, 2017
Beard net
Saw something yesterday at a pizza place I'd never, ever seen before. (And I thought I'd seen it all!)
A man behind the counter--obviously in charge cause he was handling the money and barking orders to his fellow employees working the dough, sauce and ovens--had a hairnet on his beard.
I learned later that evening that he was actually wearing a "beard net."
Who knew?!
A man behind the counter--obviously in charge cause he was handling the money and barking orders to his fellow employees working the dough, sauce and ovens--had a hairnet on his beard.
I learned later that evening that he was actually wearing a "beard net."
Who knew?!
Did that person really say this?
A neighbor told me she recently visited a restaurant in Johnson City, Tenn., called The Mediterranean.
One of the servers there shared this startling tidbit with her.
"A customer asked me what my ancestry was and I said Muslim."
"Are you a terrorist," the man asked the young Muslim woman.
"No," she said, keeping a lid on her anger. "Are you a member of the KKK?"
Way to go, Muslim server woman!
One of the servers there shared this startling tidbit with her.
"A customer asked me what my ancestry was and I said Muslim."
"Are you a terrorist," the man asked the young Muslim woman.
"No," she said, keeping a lid on her anger. "Are you a member of the KKK?"
Way to go, Muslim server woman!
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Remembering a friend
Lost a good friend a few days ago.
Rod Balch, only 59, died after a short stay in the hospital.
We were shocked and heartsick. We all loved him.
By "We," I mean all of us steadfast members of the Johnson City Dog Park.
His dog, his best four-legged friend, is a frisky bull-terrier named "Tara."
Tara will be lost and sad now, as Rod brought her to the dogpark just about every day.
Good man, this jolly, upbeat soul, Rod Balch.
One memory of him I'll take with me to my grave: When I retired from teaching in South Carolina and moved to Johnson City a few years ago, I knew not one single person here.
But I had heard about this place called "the dogpark" at Willow Springs Park--not far from where I live.
So off I went to the dogpark with my sheltie Joe and my bichon Jackson. My dogs and I entered the card-coded gate, and there on a metal bench sat Rod Balch. As happy and content as you please. He was petting his dog, as I recall, and basking in the warm mountain sunshine.
Rod, who apparently had never met a stranger (at least not for long), smiled and asked who I was and where I'd moved from.
That's the way it started.
I instantly liked him.
And just about every time I re-visited the dogpark over the last few years, Rod Balch and Tara were there.
Like a steady, friendly, outgoing presence--always up for conversation, a laugh or two and a few tidbits of news.
Farewell, Rod Balch. You were the best ambassador Johnson City ever had.
We will never forget you. And if any of your family reads this blog post and needs someone to take Tara to the dogpark, point them in my direction. I'll gladly take care of your beloved canine.
Photo of Rod and Tara taken from the Johnson City Press.
Rod Balch, only 59, died after a short stay in the hospital.
We were shocked and heartsick. We all loved him.
By "We," I mean all of us steadfast members of the Johnson City Dog Park.
His dog, his best four-legged friend, is a frisky bull-terrier named "Tara."
Tara will be lost and sad now, as Rod brought her to the dogpark just about every day.
Good man, this jolly, upbeat soul, Rod Balch.
One memory of him I'll take with me to my grave: When I retired from teaching in South Carolina and moved to Johnson City a few years ago, I knew not one single person here.
But I had heard about this place called "the dogpark" at Willow Springs Park--not far from where I live.
So off I went to the dogpark with my sheltie Joe and my bichon Jackson. My dogs and I entered the card-coded gate, and there on a metal bench sat Rod Balch. As happy and content as you please. He was petting his dog, as I recall, and basking in the warm mountain sunshine.
Rod, who apparently had never met a stranger (at least not for long), smiled and asked who I was and where I'd moved from.
That's the way it started.
I instantly liked him.
And just about every time I re-visited the dogpark over the last few years, Rod Balch and Tara were there.
Like a steady, friendly, outgoing presence--always up for conversation, a laugh or two and a few tidbits of news.
Farewell, Rod Balch. You were the best ambassador Johnson City ever had.
We will never forget you. And if any of your family reads this blog post and needs someone to take Tara to the dogpark, point them in my direction. I'll gladly take care of your beloved canine.
Photo of Rod and Tara taken from the Johnson City Press.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Revisiting my blog
Cannot believe it's been a few months since I've posted anything on Carolina Magic. No, I haven't forsaken by blogging, but I've gotten a bit distracted.
By Twitter.
Yes, I'm now tweeting.
I like to think of my tweets as bursts of insight about whatever or whoever.
So find me on Twitter if you're curious about what I'm writing about these days.
But also don't neglect to see if I've revisited Carolina Magic.
Because life is more complicated than trying to boil it down to 140 characters or less.
Happy 2017!
By Twitter.
Yes, I'm now tweeting.
I like to think of my tweets as bursts of insight about whatever or whoever.
So find me on Twitter if you're curious about what I'm writing about these days.
But also don't neglect to see if I've revisited Carolina Magic.
Because life is more complicated than trying to boil it down to 140 characters or less.
Happy 2017!
Thursday, September 29, 2016
How can you tell if someone is speaking with a forked tongue?
It's an old age question: How to tell if someone is telling a lie?
How to separate deception from truth?
Guess we may never have a definitive answer to this, but the science and psychology seem to be getting better.
Who knows? Maybe we'll know for sure one day if O.J. was telling the truth about not slaughtering his wife and her friend.
Until then, I've run across this revealing TED Talk titled "How to spot a liar." Turn your sound up and have a listen.
How to separate deception from truth?
Guess we may never have a definitive answer to this, but the science and psychology seem to be getting better.
Who knows? Maybe we'll know for sure one day if O.J. was telling the truth about not slaughtering his wife and her friend.
Until then, I've run across this revealing TED Talk titled "How to spot a liar." Turn your sound up and have a listen.
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