Here are 11 things I wish I didn’t have to put up with:
1. Bad grammar. Come on folks. Just learn the English language. It’s not that hard. Learn how to correctly punctuate, spell and write a complete sentence that makes sense. And PLEASE learn the correct usage of lie v. lay, affect v. effect, their v. they’re, and the list goes on.
2. Don’t tell me about your aches and pains and sicknesses and diseases and what doctor you’ve just seen or that you’re going to see. I DON’T CARE. No one else does, either.
3. With a few exceptions, I don’t care about your children or grandchildren or great grandchildren. (The exceptions are my own children and grands). Don’t show me their pictures or report cards. Don’t boast to me me how smart they are or what they’ve just learned how to do. Keep all such conversations within your own family—PLEASE.
4. Don’t sit at the end of a pew in church or at the end of a seat row in a movie theatre. Move your behind to the middle of the row—PLEASE. It ain’t that much to ask. (Oops, I forgot about the grammar guideline…)
5. I don’t care about your dogs or cats, because I have my own two dogs, and they are more than enough for me to be concerned about. (I’ll redouble my efforts not to brag about them).
6. I don’t care much about TV shows you’ve just watched. Don’t watch much TV myself. Exceptions: Football games and national news and maybe the National Geographic Channel and the History Channel.
7. Don’t show me pictures of places you’ve just visited. I DON’T CARE WHERE YOU’VE BEEN, and don’t tell me to check out your Facebook page. I rarely ever get on Facebook—gossip tool that hurts a lot of people.
8. Don’t tell me about your Christmas bonus or any other kind of salary bonus you’ve just had the good fortune to get. I’ve never gotten a bonus in my life.
9. Don’t drive in the left lane unless (and that’s a big UNLESS) you are planning to turn left or you are passing another vehicle. I call people who hug the left lane LEFT LOONIES.
10. Don’t NOT answer a text or email I send you. Reply, reply, reply…
11. Quit using so many exclamation marks!!!! (See what I mean?)
